My twenty-year-old son has never taken a girl home. I’m afraid he might be gay or impotent, how do I talk to him about it? –Tania

First of all, let’s just hope he’s gay and not impotent, so there won’t be any medical issue to fix. But considering how bluntly you explain the situation, i have the feeling you might be one of those people who tend to jump to conclusions, not thinking before she speaks and ending up saying inconvenient things. As a matter of fact you just did, by writing that you’re “afraid your son might be gay or impotent” to a journalist who is indeed at least one of these two things.

Maybe your son is just afraid that, while he’s getting wine in the kitchen, you might say to his girlfriend something like “You’re a such a dear girl, and have you had your ovaries checked lately?”. Or: “It’s such a relief to meet you, i was resigning myself to having a daughter in law with a mustache and beard”. Or finally a super affectionate: “Now you’re like my own child, i want you to call me mommy”.

The fact that your son has never taken a girl, or a boy, home doesn’t mean he doesn’t have one. And doesn’t even mean he has erection problems. But maybe he has a problem with you. Instead of asking him how his relationship with the opposite sex is going, ask him about the one with his parents. That’s the best way to start talking about anything, including his private life.

Internazionale, numero 943, 6 aprile 2012